Of Moonlight and Honor
by Ladymage Samiko
Summary: The Tale of the Shikon Jewel has ended and Sesshoumaru has settled into the mastership of his lands. Bored, he passes the time with a casual dalliance, but he is about to discover that a single moonlit night can change his life forever...
1. Default Chapter

Ano. . . A few notes before we begin, if you please. The first is that I humbly apologize for any discrepancies or OOC-ness in this story. I am not as well acquainted with Inu Yasha as I would like. Feel free to correct me if something is glaringly wrong. The second: I am not at all sure about writing this story to begin with. I will continue it only if the number of (good) reviews convinces me to do so. I'm writing this because I'm tired of reading fics that snap their fingers and suddenly Sesshoumaru's in love. I want to develop him a bit more, maybe play with his head a little? ^_^ So, if you readers want, I'll continue. If not, I'll let it slip quietly into oblivion. It's up to you. Finally(!), I'll point out mandatory disclaimers: Inu Yasha and all recognizable characters belong to Takahashi Rumiko and her corporate court. I own the plot and original characters, including Tsukiyo.

Enjoy.

Ladymage Samiko ; )

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Of Moonlight and Honor

Part 1

Sesshoumaru gazed at the peaceful scene around him and sighed in sheer boredom. It had been many years since he had a focus in his life; Inu Yasha and his woman had managed to collect the Shikon Jewel and reassemble it, disappearing shortly afterwards. The Jewel had more or less disappeared along with them, but for some reason, the odd shard could still be found here and there. He ignored them; his sole interest had been the Tetsusaiga and _that_ definitely had vanished along with his thrice-bedamned half-brother. And, once that had happened, it left him, Sesshoumaru, without anything he needed to do. The land had returned to relative peace and only the occasional youkai needed to be reminded who was lord here.

Rin, too, was gone. She had kept him somewhat occupied for several years afterwards, but--as humans are wont to do--she had grown up and chosen a mate for herself in a distant human castle. She visited him once a year and he went to see her whenever he pleased, which was not often since the only human he was ever able to tolerate was her. Having to deal with her in-laws and their ghastly stench was more than any sane being could ask of a youkai. And so he was left with an empty castle and not much more than routine duties.

The castle gardens were beautiful in the moonlight, their austere perfection the product of generations of youkai care. And yet. . . Sesshoumaru's nostrils flared as an alien scent was carried by the light breeze. The hair on the back of his neck rose and a instinctive growl emerged from his throat. A youkai--a _lesser_ youkai-- dared trespass on his lands without permission. His hand on his sword, he turned abruptly and stalked out of the gardens. Ordinarily, he would have a lackey take care of the matter, but he was just bored enough to take the matter into his own hands. Perhaps the youkai would scream something amusing before it died.

He found her sitting quietly next to a pond near the southern borders of his realm. "You do not belong here," he informed her coldly. "Leave or be destroyed. I do not tolerate trespassers here."

She turned to face him. He noted her beauty in the distant, disinterested way one admires a perfect calligraphy scroll. A dog-demon like himself, she possessed ground-length coal black hair with perfectly cut sidelocks, a finely featured face with indigo stripes, and a trim body that seemed barely adequate to support her. "I must beg your pardon, my lord," she murmured. "My sole purpose in coming here was to make your acquaintance. I apologize."

Sesshoumaru blinked. "What do you, a lesser youkai, want of me, that you would invade my domain?" Apparently, this _was_ going to be more amusing than usual.

The barest flicker of uncertainty crossed her features and her scent. Sesshoumaru raised a eyebrow. "I-- have heard much of you, my lord," she replied. "I found myself intrigued. And I thought that, perhaps-- you would not be adverse to a woman's company."

The bitch spoke well; he granted her that much. Humans and the majority of youkai neglected to speak with such delicacy, which bespoke excellent breeding. Her offer was worth considering. After all, he had no one to answer to but himself now and it was one way to alleviate the monotony. The youkai lord stepped closer to the unknown woman and heard her breathing speed up. "Perhaps I am," he growled softly, "and perhaps I am not."

She stood with willow-wand grace, the skirts of her kimonos trailing behind her. "Then perhaps Sesshoumaru-sama would not find Tsukiyo's company displeasing?" Her eyes were large in the darkness, the pupils expanding to almost drown the dark rose of the iris.

"Perhaps not," he answered back in a low rumble.

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Morning dawned early and Sesshoumaru rose from his futon with what would best be described as a smirk. The night had been long and the two youkai had made the most of it. Afterwards, he had seen to it that Tsukiyo was quartered in another wing of the palace. Among youkai, mating did not necessarily mean that a fist through the stomach was not immediately to follow. Not that it mattered to him if she tried; it was only that he disliked being rushed when killing someone. Dressing quickly and securing his sword (he may still have to kill the bitch) he paced the corridors to her room.

He found it empty.

A small scroll had been left on the lacquered pillow. He cut the string with a delicate claw and began to read the odd, sprawled women's script.

"Sesshoumaru-sama--

"I find myself almost without words to leave you, for I do not wish to bother you with explanations you will disdain and disbelieve. But I also wish to impart to you the truth of our meeting.

"You have never seen me before, but I have seen you. When I was a child, you were a part of a battle near my father's lands. To me, you seemed the epitome of the warrior and I determined to find you when I came of age and, in the manner of young girls, I wished desperately to marry you.

"But I find that I digress into one of the explanations I wish to avoid. To return to my sadly long-winded tale, I spoke of this to my father, who explained to me that such a thing would be impossible, for you were Sesshoumaru-sama, Taiyoukai of the Western Lands, and my fate would then be a bloody death.

"But, as you know, I did not set my dream aside and, if I may confess, I was not displeased with the outcome.

"However, I must confess to you my secret, my lord, for I would end this dalliance with honesty, insofar as I may.

"I had managed to acquire a Shikon shard, and with it I created the illusion that I myself was a youkai. The reason I did this. . . I am, in reality, a human, my lord. A mere human. If it were possible to be otherwise, I would do so for you, my lord, but as it lies, I must sincerely apologize for my deception. I must beg your pardon for inflicting the embrace of a human upon you.

"I find that I must give my reason for doing so, though I am aware of your response to it. I did this because I love you, my lord. I hope that, in time, you will forgive me. You will remain in my heart as long as I live, but I shall not trouble you again. This message is the last time you need think of me at all.

"--Tsukiyo."

A growl of sheer rage radiated out from Sesshoumaru to fill the castle. The delicate scroll disappeared into shreds as the claws of his clenched fist closed around it. He stalked out of the room and towards the baths. All of a sudden, he felt despicably filthy.

--to be continued?

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Cultural Notes (skip 'em if you like)

Tsukiyo means 'moonlit night.'

Lacquered pillow -- These folks didn't use pillows like we have. Theirs were basically hard, rectangular blocks. You've probably noticed them whenever one of the characters is recuperating.

Women's script -- The Japanese adopted Chinese characters for writing, then attempted to tailor them to their own language. Women of the courts tended to learn the simplified form that later became hiragana and used them to write poetry, stories like The Tale of Genji, and diaries called "pillow books." Men used kanji and later developed katakana to take notes with.

Learn something new every day, ne?


	2. Of Moonlight and Honor 2

Thank you to my reviewers: Jin Munku-JGSPTV, Silvermagess, kim, Queen, & Mika-chan! And thanks, Silvermagess, for pointing out my mistake in the last part. *blush* That'll 'larn' me not to edit things at 2am. Reina was her original name, but both character and name changed mid-stream. And hopefully she'll develop after this part, so she can be the three-dimensional person I have in my head. Anyhow. I apologize for the small chunks this story will come in, but given everything else I have going on, I decided it was best to publish it like this. Y'all know the disclaimers, so on to the story!

Ladymage Samiko ; )

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Of Moonlight and Honor

Part 2

A cursory hunt for the bitch proved fruitless. Sesshoumaru grudgingly gave her credit for her intelligence; the Shikon shard had disguised her scent as well as her appearance and she had dropped the disguise in the middle of one of the largest towns in his domain. Any trace of the human scent had been quickly submerged among the wealth of others, leaving no hint of the direction she had then taken. Questioning of the townspeople had provided a small release of the anger he had built up, but youkai often used these places as safe zones of a kind (safe from each other) during their travels and no one had seen anything unusual.

Sesshoumaru returned to the castle, working all the while to calm himself with reason. Any further measures to find the woman would be more trouble than they were worth. To find a single human among the masses of their kind, even with the clues he possessed, would be like trying to pick a single minnow from the entire populations of the sea! (Not that he could not, you understand, if he wished to do so.) It was simply too tiresome to deal with. Only if the bitch was stupid enough to publicize her dealings with the Western Lord would it be truly necessary to find her. And then her own foolishness would make it a simple task to hunt her down and kill her. Slowly.

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Months passed and little changed. Sesshoumaru patrolled his territory to the furthest boundaries; all predators, human and youkai alike, were most active at this time of year--after the harvest but before true winter set in. At least it was something to do.

After a fortnight of hunting, Sesshoumaru wanted nothing more than a prolonged session in the baths. He stalked through the corridors, impatiently pulling at the tie of his sash as he did so.

"Master!" Jaken's high-pitched voice pierced the air. "Sesshoumaru-sama!"

"Yes, Jaken?" Sesshoumaru turned, face and voice dangerously calm.

"I most humbly apologize, my lord," Jaken continued, oblivious to the warnings he was receiving, "but there is a messenger waiting for you. He has been here three days!"

"Then he can wait a few hours more," replied the Taiyoukai.

"But my lord--"

"_Yes_, Jaken?" His voice was absolutely poisonous.

"My lord, this messenger is _human_!"

"Human?" A delicate eyebrow rose. "There is a _human_ messenger here? And he _stayed_?" It was a rare thing for any human to withstand the youkai aura of the Western Lord's castle for more than a few hours.

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama." Jaken eyed the youkai lord with some trepidation. He also felt a slight stirring of excitement. If the messenger irritated Sesshoumaru-sama enough. . .

"I will see him, then," Sesshoumaru declared. "Have him brought to the receiving room. Well, what are you waiting for?" he added when he saw that Jaken was doing no more than staring at him. "Go." The toad youkai scurried out of the way. Sesshoumaru then looked at the partially untied sash. "Damn," he muttered and went about the business of trying to fix the accursed thing with only one hand. He cursed his brother again for slicing off the arm that would take another decade to fully grow back. It wasn't a problem most of the time, but there were occasions when it was a damned nuisance.

"My lord." The human knelt at Sesshoumaru's feet and bowed, then bowed again while offering the youkai lord a small scroll. Sesshoumaru gestured slightly for Jaken to take the scroll. "If it please you, my lord," the messenger said in a small, but surprisingly steady voice, "my mistress bade me say the message was for your eyes alone." Not a muscle moved in the youkai's face as he held out his hand for the scroll. The seal, he noticed, bore the same insignia as the _kamon_ on the human's robe, a curious device of two crossed feathers overlaying an open fan -- not one he was familiar with. With a mental shrug, he broke it and began to read the formal, scribe's hand.

"Sesshoumaru-sama --

"I most sincerely beg your pardon for disturbing you, my lord, especially in light of the promise I have previously made. However, circumstances are such that contacting you has become imperative. My lord Sesshoumaru, it is my duty to inform you that as a result of our previous association, I now find myself with child. There can be no mistake about either my condition or the father. This was never my intention, my lord; I know too well your disposition towards both humans and hanyou. I send my most humble apologies and ask that you do not trouble yourself further. If you wish it so, I will consider the matter closed.

"Once again, I tender my apologies.

"Lady Akita Tsukiyo."

The world began to fade into greys as Sesshoumaru read the note. Crushing the scroll with one hand, he forced some small semblance of control upon himself. "Tell Lady Tsukiyo," he rasped, "to do nothing until I come. Is that clear?"

The messenger looked up at Sesshoumaru uncertainly, fear rolling off him in waves as he saw the red of the youkai's eyes and the odd pulsing of the clenched fist. "But, my lord. . ." his voice trailed off uncertainly.

"Go!" screamed the youkai lord. "Go before I decide you have no use!"

Both the messenger and Jaken decided to heed the lord's words.

--tsuzuku. . .

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Cultural Notes (skip 'em if you like)

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Kamon is the family crest, used by the feudal lords to indicate status and, like European heraldry, identify allies on the battlefield. For Tsukiyo, I chose that of the Akita clan. The hawk feather symbolize "the hawk's own elegance, dignity and faith in the hawk God." I'm not sure what the fan is supposed to mean. Also, I don't know anything about the role of the Akita during this time period, so I apologize now for any liberties I take with the family.


	3. Of Moonlight and Honor 3

Not much to say here except sorry for making everybody wait so long for this. A big thanks to Quetzle for beta-ing this part and helping me get over my character block (which is irritatingly different from writer's block). And now I need to go eat lunch.

Have fun!

Ladymage Samiko ; )

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Of Moonlight and Honor

Part 3

In the center of the Western Lands, the earth rises up to touch the heavens. The peaks do not match the heights of Fujisama further north, but they possess their own majesty and unique beauty, the rocky cliffs standing in counterpoint to the vast stretches of wooded slopes. In the midst of these mountains, unseen by the majority of humankind, stands the castle of the Taiyoukai of the Western Lands. And, if you look closely, you may see a small opening in the cliffs nearby. From this fissure come sounds not meant for mortal ears: the sounds of a sword shearing rock. The testing ground for the blades Sesshoumaru carried was deep under the earth, in a forest of stalactites and stalagmites. Here was where Sesshoumaru took his rage and attempted to regain his control.

The Toukijin flashed, slicing a spire from the ceiling of the cave, then again again as it fell, leaving numerous pieces of neatly cut rock lying on the ground. Another column was cut and another.

_How could I have been such a fool?_ he berated himself. 

Another voice, this one a memory, joined his own. _Control, boy! You have no control! Now do it again! How can you possibly imagine that you could ever take over the Western Lands from me? Weak, stupid boy! Perhaps I should adopt a human son--he would be stronger than you!_

I am not weak! "I _am_ the Taiyoukai of the Western Lands, Father!" he snarled as he reduced more stalactites into rubble. "I. . . am. . . not. . . weak! I will not _be_ weak! _I_ control the Western Lands! _I _control the Tenseiga! I control myself and _I_ control my destiny!"

_True. I have control of my destiny. And I have control of theirs. It would be a simple matter to go her and end this charade finally. It would be nothing more than she deserves for deceiving me. _It would be a simple solution. A clean, final ending.

_Sesshoumaru-sama!_ A childish giggle broke across his thoughts, shattering glass-like to catch his eye with the twinkling shards. Rin. No matter how hard he tried, she was never very far from his thoughts. He could see her as the child she had been--laughing, happy for reasons incomprehensible to him. Making him the center of her universe.

_Sesshoumaru-sama._ Several years later, a wide-eyed, tentative young woman had come to him. She traveled alone, sometimes, in those days. _Sesshoumaru-sama, I think I've found him._

Found who?

I don't want to leave you, Sesshoumaru-sama, but. . . Her eyes had shone with something he couldn't recognize and a small smile curved her lips. _I think I've found the man I want to marry. I love him. May I have your blessing?_ He had given it to her, because she asked him. Every pup had to leave the den, even if it was for reasons the elder couldn't understand.

_Sesshoumaru-sama?_ Rin glowed when she entered his chambers a year after her marriage. _I have something to tell you. . . I am with child. . ._ She had been so happy, so radiant. . .

Sesshoumaru shook his head violently. Plans for what to do about the current situation and pictures of Rin bled into one another. The child he had found dead on a forest road became his own may-be son. Phrases of Tsukiyo's first letter brought back the images of a young woman in love, her face filled with hope. And when he contemplating cutting Tsukiyo down with a single sword stroke, it was Rin's despair he saw, Rin's eyes going blank in death. "No!" he barked savagely. "Rin has no part of this decision! It is mine!" The sword stopped, leaving Sesshoumaru breathing heavily in the center of a wide circle of debris. With a deep breath, he once again brought his sword up to guard position. His mind cleared as he began the series of _kata_ his father had taught him centuries ago, moves so ingrained that they may even have been written on his soul. As the sword moved where he willed it, his mind took up another path, going further back into the past.

_What is _that_?_ Sesshoumaru peered at the bundle his father carried in his arms. A bundle that seemed to consist primarily of large, golden eyes and even larger white, fuzzy ears. He leaned forward to inspect it, then backed away as the thing gurgled and flailed tiny arms at him.

__

This is your brother, Sesshoumaru. His name is Inu-Yasha.

_But. . . _Sesshoumaru sniffed again to make sure of what he thought he sensed. _But that's a hanyou! You-- You mated with a _human_?! _Sesshoumaru's nose wrinkled in disgust at the thought.

_Yes. _His father answered patiently. _I certainly neverentertained the idea, but Hanako is. . . different. And Inu-Yasha,_ his father's face looked both chagrined and incredibly smug, _was certainly unexpected_.

__

So why not just get rid of it? Sesshoumaru asked indifferently. It was no use trying to discern his father's incomprehensible actions.

His father loomed over him, expression stern. _Other reasons aside,_ he had said, _there are two things I have _attempted_ to teach you. Perhaps you should remind yourself of them?_

Sesshoumaru straightened his spine. Head high, he recited, _All that I do is do be performed with honor, for a warrior is nothing without honor. Honor is your responsibility to yourself, your dependants, and your duty. Second, the blood tie is sacred above all other ties. To the blood of your blood you owe life, honor, and death. Father?_ Sesshoumaru relaxed slightly.

__

Yes, Sesshoumaru?

Is that hanyou_ blood of my blood?_

His father studied his face for long moments and sighed. _Perhaps someday, my son, you will understand this. Someday. . ._

Sesshoumaru sheathed his sword and stood up. _Do I understand, Father? _He asked his dead parent silently. _Perhaps. Perhaps not._ But it was clear to him what his father would have said if he was alive. Sesshoumaru would take up his duty and his honor and fetch the human woman and their unborn child.

--tsuzuku

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Cultural Notes

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Fujisama is Mt. Fuji, near Tokyo (otherwise known is this era as that hick-town, Edo ^_~ )

Looking at a map of Japan, I've decided that the Western Lands are at the southern end of Japan's main island. There is a reason for this, both geographically and plot-wise. But we'll get to that later. Much later.

The way Sesshoumaru is testing his sword is called _tameshigiri_, though humans tend to use rolls of bamboo matting rather than rocks which would kill the measly human' blades.

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Kata are the forms used in martial arts. So Sesshoumaru is going through a set pattern of moves.


	4. Of Moonlight and Honor 4

Thanks for the reviews, minna. I'll have more things to say later, but for now, enjoy the story and please review.

Onegaishimasu.

Ladymage Samiko ; )

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Of Moonlight and Honor

Part 4

Tsukiyo gazed out of her bedroom window at the falling leaves. Confined there after her condition had become apparent, she had little to do but watch the season change and care for her bruises.

Her father had been disappointed in her-- and she understood that-- but he had also been strangely. . . sympathetic, perhaps? It was difficult to say; he was a taciturn man at the best of times. But he had accepted the news brought to him from the women's quarters and ordered the messenger to be sent to Sesshoumaru-sama with little more than a sigh. It had been Goro-sama's wife who had not taken the news well, and she had taken her rage out on Tsukiyo. With all of the authority her stepmother possessed, there was nothing Tsukiyo could do except curl up in a small ball to protect the child she carried as she endured the blows. And now she merely waited as forces stronger than she was decided her destiny.

There was a respectful cough outside her door. With nervous self-consciousness, Tsukiyo straightened her hair and twitched her uchikake into place. She stood as the door slid open, revealing her father on the other side. "Otou-sama," she murmured respectfully as she bowed, then knelt. Tsukiyo glanced at his face--no hints there.

"I have little to tell you," he began. "Eiji-san has returned, but with no more than a verbal message. The youkai lord says little more than to wait for his arrival. He bids you to do nothing until that time. Daughter, I fear this does not bode well. Eiji-san tells me Sesshoumaru-sama went into a rage at the news."

"But is it not a good sign that he chooses to come himself, otou-sama?"

"It is difficult to say," the lord sighed. "It could mean any number of things, including that he may wish to kill you himself for your deception. Or he may wish to take the child after it is born. But I do not like the stories I hear, daughter. He has no love for humans and until recently, hunted his hanyou half-brother as one would an animal."

"I know, otou-sama," she answered, her voice low. "I knew when I chose to. . . see him. But I think that now-- now I must trust in his honor."

Goro looked down at his daughter with sad eyes. "Neither men nor youkai are required to have such honor, my daughter. Still, for your sake, I hope your dreams are fulfilled."

"Thank you, otou-sama." Tsukiyo bowed again. "After all," she whispered once he had gone, "what other dreams have you left me?"

Segregated as she was from the general household, Tsukiyo missed the noise and confusion a few days later, unaware of both the uproar and its significance until it came to her door.

"I have no interest in such useless items, human." She froze at the sound of the rich baritone, familiar even after the passing of months. "My only purpose in coming here is to claim what is mine." Her door slammed open and she stuffed the book she held underneath the futon beside her. "You, girl!" His eyes were so cold; they almost looked through her. "Gather your things. We leave once you are ready." His lip curled slightly. "I will await you outside of this place." He turned on his heel, followed by her father.

Ruri, her father's wife, remained behind. She stood at the door, disdaining to enter the room, preferring instead to tower over her stepdaughter and gloat. "You have received your wish, _daughter_," she sneered. "The youkai lord is taking you to live with him, and I say good riddance to you, you ungrateful slut. And mind, he's not taking you into his house as a _bride_. The thought of marriage to _you_ disgusts him; I can't _imagine_ why. There will be no ceremony and your father is to keep your dowry; the youkai wants none of it. It's my guess you'll be lucky to even gain the rank of concubine in his household. Honored Wife' is certainly beyond _your_ comprehension. But then," she smirked, flashing her blackened teeth, "perhaps you'll be lucky to survive beyond the birth of that mongrel you're carrying. I hear that birthing a youkai's spawn is difficult beyond ordinary childbirth and once the child's born, I doubt he'll have any further use for you. _Any_ nursing woman or youkai can do for the brat just as well as you. Probably better. I don't think that youkai will want any more of your influence in the child's life. If it lives, of course. Ah, well, you'd best hurry. I doubt his lordship will take kindly to being made to wait for his little whore." She turned and drifted down the walkway, her silvery laugh drifting back behind her.

Tsukiyo closed her eyes and clenched her fists, taking deep breaths to steady herself. Perhaps Ruri was right. Perhaps she would be kept as a drudge. Perhaps she would be killed once her child was born. But, she thought, placing her hand on her still-flat stomach, her child _would_ be born. And it _would_ live. _No matter what happens_, she told her child. _No matter what happens, I will be strong enough for you._

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It was. . . disconcerting to see the human as she was now. He recognized her basic features: the rose-violet of her eyes, the heart-shaped, slightly angular face. But there were subtle changes-- in the expression of her eyes, the way she moved, her reactions-- that made her almost an entirely different person. It would have been fine in a human, but the tiny flashes of the youkai he had consorted with. . . They were familiar, but entirely wrong in the context he was now seeing them in. The human aspects and the youkai alternated in his perception as right and wrong, first one seeming the true' Tsukiyo, then the false' one. Sesshoumaru shook his head in irritation. It wasn't his concern in any case.

She emerged from the gate, two manservants following her, lugging two large boxes. Tsukiyo herself carried a long, well-wrapped bundle strapped to her back. Sesshoumaru regarded them with a raised eyebrow. "That is all you would bring?" he commented mildly. "You would not, perhaps, wish to bring along your favorite horse, or the _tenshu_, as well?"

She gave him a sharp look before her gaze settled downward once more. "No, my lord," she murmured.

"Very well." He took the two boxes from the servants-- who were looking around uncertainly, looking for his entourage-- carrying them easily by the knots of the fabric tied around them. "You will have to ride on my back and hold on yourself. I cannot hold on to both you and your belongings."

"Yes, my lord." She approached him slowly and hands appeared from the mass of fabric that seemed to nearly overwhelm her. He took in the flash of uncertainty in her eyes and the determined clench of her jaw. She circled behind him, brushed the long locks of his hair aside, then carefully settled herself against his back, her arms around his neck. It was well that she did so, he thought, for aside from the pressure and slight warmth of her hands, it seemed more like he was carrying a bundle of cloth on his back rather than a living, breathing creature. He sighed inwardly; she was a living, breathing creature that would be with him for quite some time due to his idiotic decision.

With little ceremony and fewer words, Sesshoumaru leapt into the air, leaving the Northern Lands and the castle of the Akita clan far behind them.

--tsuzuku

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Cultural Notes

An _uchikake _is the outermost kimono a warrior class woman would wear. It was of heavy silk and brightly patterned. In colder weather, it would be tied half-open over three more layers of kimono. Just a note: I may be a little off in time periods with this type of clothing, but this is the best information I can find so far.

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Otou-sama translates roughly to "my lord father." Formal and deferential, I use the japanese term since the english doesn't have the same usage or shades of meaning.

Again, I may be a little off my dates, but when I woman(girl) was married, her teeth would be blackened as a sign of her status.

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Tenshu is the equivalent of a castle keep. It's the most heavily fortified, central building in a Japanese castle.


	5. Of Moonlight and Honor 5

Ah, finally a familiar character appears! Rin is somewhat difficult to write, since I know little about her current personality and then one has to figure out what she would be like as she grew older. I hope I got it right. Thank you to my reviewers so far. Please continue to let me know what you think!

Have fun!

Ladymage Samiko ; )

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Of Moonlight and Honor

Part 5

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" As usual, that happy shout was the only warning Sesshoumaru got before he was smothered in a welter of cloth. He smiled and pulled back slightly from the enthusiastic embrace.

"Rin," he said, pleased. "You look well."

"Thank you, Sesshoumaru-sama!" She beamed at him, then looked closer. "Are you well? You look a little tired, Sesshoumaru-sama."

He sighed. "There have been some. . . unforeseen events, Rin. But they will keep for the time being. What have you been doing since I saw you last?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary," she replied. "But here, I brought someone to visit you." She turned around, revealing a sleeping child in a sling on her back. Rin held out her arms so that Sesshoumaru could carefully undo the straps of the sling. "Sachiko has been wanting to meet you."

Sesshoumaru blinked at the small creature he now held in his arms. "Was it wise to travel with her? She is very young."

"She's old enough now. Besides, with your mark on me, who would be safer on the roads?" Rin pretended to frown at the youkai. "And anyway, you haven't visited since before she was born. That was almost a year ago. It's time and past you met your 'granddaughter.'" She giggled. "Does this mean I can call you _ojii-sama_, now?"

"No, it does not," he told her repressively. A demon of his age with grandchildren? Perish the thought. His eyebrow lifted as he studied the slumbering child. And human grandchildren, no less. This brought his mind back to Tsukiyo and the child she carried. Soon enough he would have his own half-breed child and, after that, quarter-blood grandchildren, probably. The thought made him curl his lip in disgust, that his and his father's blood should be so debased.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin watched him, puzzled. "Are you sure everything's all right. You don't seem like yourself today. Here, let me take Sachiko."

Sesshoumaru began to hand the child back when she opened her eyes. They were large and as she stared at him, seemed to dominate her face. After a second of staring at each other, Sachiko smiled broadly at him. Taken by surprise, he could only blink as Rin took her from his arms and settled the child in her own. He watched them quietly. Sachiko was such a tiny thing and holding her had reminded him once again of the extreme fragility of human beings. Normally, this was something he scorned, but as he looked at Rin's face. . . He could see that her entire being was now centered on this all-too-easily hurt child. If something were to happen to Sachiko, what would happen to Rin? She was his ward, his responsibility.

A light tap on the door broke his reverie. "My lord?" came the quiet voice of Tsukiyo. He sighed. "Come in, Tsukiyo." The door slid open.

Tsukiyo stared at the scene before her in astonishment. Sesshoumaru-sama was sitting next to a young human woman of perhaps twenty, who held a smiling child in her arms. The woman stared back at her, apparently as surprised as she was. "I beg your pardon, my lord," Tsukiyo continued, regaining a small bit of her composure, "but Jaken informed me that you had guests and I thought you might appreciate some tea." She indicated the lacquer tray she held in her hands.

Rin didn't understand why this girl was here, but looking at her submissive form and Sesshoumaru's now-closed face, she knew she would have to take charge of the situation. "That would be delightful!" she said cheerfully. "Please come in. Join us." She watched as the girl gave Sesshoumaru-sama a startled glance to which he replied with the slightest of nods. The girl set the bowls of tea before both of them before settling down on the floor opposite. Rin noticed that she had not brought a mug for herself. "Mmm, this is marvelous. Did you make it yourself?"

"Yes, my lady," the girl replied. "My father taught me how to perform the tea ceremony. I would have invited you, but I was unaware if your business here would allow it."

"Oh, good heavens, don't call me 'my lady! Please!" Rin laughed. "I have enough of that at home. Here, I am just plain Rin, Sesshoumaru's little tag-along ward." She smiled warmly at the youkai. "And I would love to attend a ceremony, if I may. Not today, perhaps, but sometime this week? I have never heard of it performed by a woman before."

Watching her closely, Rin distinguished the small start she gave when Rin mentioned her relationship to Sesshoumaru, then the shyly pleased expression as Rin claimed interest in seeing her _cha-do_. "I would be most grateful for your attendance. . . Rin-san. I hope I can perform adequately. My father would not have taught me, save that I was his eldest child and talented in the art of nagging." A small smile curved her lips.

Rin's laugh once again rang out and was joined by her daughter's giggle. "Amazing how well it works, ne? If you ever ask Sesshoumaru-sama, I imagine he would tell you I was a true master of that art. I was able to sweet-talk quite a few things out of him once upon a time. I imagine Sachiko-chan will be able to in a few years as well." She gave the little girl a small hug. Was it her imagination, or did the girl look somewhat wistful? "Oh, I don't believe Sesshoumaru-sama's introduced us. As I said, I'm Rin. Sesshoumaru-sama saved my life many years ago and I've been following him ever since. For some reason, he puts up with it. I only left a few years ago when I married. This is my daughter, Sachiko."

"My name is Akita Tsukiyo," the girl replied. "I--" Her voice drifted off as she looked uncertainly at the oddly-silent lord. 

Sesshoumaru put the bowl of tea down carefully. He looked up at Rin, his face as calm and cold as it had been the first time she'd ever seen him. "Tsukiyo is carrying my child, Rin," he told her levelly. Her gaze swept back and forth between the two in surprise. Why, the girl was no more than sixteen! Something here was very wrong. She knew Sesshoumaru-sama too well to think otherwise.

"This is certainly. . . unexpected," Rin replied, setting her own bowl down.

Sesshoumaru's lips twisted in a smirk. "You've learned tact, Rin. I never thought it possible."

"You're avoiding the issue," she accused him. "I know you too well for that, Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Perhaps you should ask the girl, then," he replied mildly, "as to what the circumstances are." Rin could practically see Tsukiyo shrinking into herself. She avoided both Sesshoumaru's expectant gaze as well as Rin's sympathetic one.

"Tsukiyo-san?" The girl flinched at the sound of her name.

"Yes, Rin-san?" Tsukiyo's voice was barely audible.

"The gardens are lovely this time of year. Perhaps we could take a turn through them? Together?"

"Oh!" Once again, the girl's emotions were almost palpable. "O--of course, Rin-san." At Sesshoumaru's nod of permission, Tsukiyo stood and bowed out of the room, waiting for Rin just beyond the door.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin turned to the youkai. "Would you look after Sachiko-chan for a little while? You two should become acquainted." Without waiting for his answer, she plopped the girl in his lap. Lips close to his ear, she hissed at him, "You and I will talk later."

Sesshoumaru blinked after her in surprise, watching her cheery nature reassert itself in Tsukiyo's company. He glanced down at the girl-child he now held and she stared back at him, wide-eyed.

--tsuzuku 

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Cultural Notes

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Ojii-sama is the most formal way of saying "grandfather." It can also mean 'uncle.' Difficult to imagine Sesshoumaru in either role, ne?

__

Cha-do literally means 'Way of Tea.' It's the study and practice of the tea ceremony, which was beginning to develop in this period. It was/is considered a way of life, that emphasizes simplicity and calm.

__

Tsukiyo's age-- I imagine some people are going to want to bawl me out for making her (and Rin, for that matter) so young. But that was how it worked in earlier times. As soon as a girl passed puberty, she was more or less considered a woman (which I sometimes think is a more sensible attitude). It is more than likely that Tsukiyo would have been married, possibly with children already, by sixteen. So, since I think in historical contexts, Tsukiyo is a responsible, consenting adult. Even if she _is_ using a teenager's level of common sense.


	6. Of Moonlight and Honor 6

Lots to do and less time to do it in. I'll put in more ANs next time. Have fun!

Ladymage Samiko ; )

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Of Moonlight and Honor

Part 6

"This place is amazing, isn't it?" Rin commented as the two girls crossed a small bridge near the center of the castle grounds. 

"I never thought a place like this could exist," Tsukiyo replied; even after five months, she still regarded the castle with awe. The grounds, encircled by elegant buildings and broad covered walkways, were literally acres in size and encompassed both ceremonial and practical gardens. Wood and stone combined to make solid structures that were still much more decorative and less defensive than any castle Tsukiyo had known.

"It can't," the older said bluntly. "Not in our world. If people tried working together, then perhaps. . . But there are too many wars, too many deaths to allow a place like this to happen. Not that youkai are the most peaceful of races, but they have different ways. Sesshoumaru-sama will never have to worry that a besieging army will appear at his gates." Rin giggled. "And even if they _did_ appear, he'd probably just ignore them."

"How--" Tsukiyo halted when the other girl turned her attention to her, then took a deep breath and plunged on. "How can you treat Sesshoumaru-sama so casually?" she blurted out, then colored.

"How can you not?" Rin threw the question back at her. She sobered quickly when she saw how distressed the girl was. "Come. Sit next to me and I'll try to explain." Rin quickly outlined her history, from as far back as she could remember, to her meeting with Sesshoumaru, up until the present. "So, you see, Sesshoumaru-sama became my own personal _kami_, Rin-chan's own personal _bosatsu_." Rin's voice was dreamy as she spoke of the past. "If I had been older, if I had known exactly what he was, I probably would have reacted differently. As it was, the only thing I could do was worship him the same way I had worshipped my parents. If he went somewhere, I followed. I loved him with everything I had. And I knew, I certainly _knew_, that _he_ would never die on me, like my parents had, like everyone I knew had. He may go to the ends of the earth, but there was no place I couldn't follow him. As long as he was there, I would never be alone.

"Our relationship changed as I grew, as I saw more of him and the world. He went from being a _kami_ to a father to an older brother. He's always been distant, but somehow, I've always been able to get through his barriers. And now, I still love him terribly, but I realize he's not perfection incarnate. Do you know," Rin turned to face Tsukiyo suddenly, "that in youkai years, Sesshoumaru-sama's still incredibly young? That no youkai, not even a Taiyoukai's direct heir, would even _think_ about trying to hold the position at his age? Even if they inherit, they rule through a regent for hundreds of years, someone who has the wisdom and strength of age."

"How old is he?" Tsukiyo asked in hushed tones.

"I'm not exactly sure," the girl demurred. "But I think, if he were human, he wouldn't be that much older than I am. Perhaps twenty-five." She waved away Tsukiyo's surprised exclamations. "My point is, Tsukiyo-san, is that while Sesshoumaru-sama's both experienced and strong, he _is_ emotionally challenged. You know how boys are. There's a lot of background to his attitude, stuff nobody really knows except him. And it's not going to change anytime soon. He's not old enough to know when to bend."

"He will always hate me then, won't he?" Tsukiyo's pain was so clear in her face that Rin ached for her. But Tsukiyo needed the truth more than anything else right now.

"It is possible. It is also possible that you _could_ make him care, though I don't know if it would be in the way you want him to. I don't know how, but I did manage to claim a small piece of his heart. I think," Rin frowned slightly. "I think the best thing for you is just to try to earn his respect. It's not an easy thing to do. He respects very few people. But be strong. That's the best advice I can give you. Sesshoumaru-sama respects strength more than anything else. And. . ."

"And what?" Tsukiyo gazed at her with eyes filled with trust and hope.

"For his sake. . . just be there for him. He doesn't think so, but even Sesshoumaru-sama needs someone to listen to him and care for him. And I--I can't be there for him anymore, not like I used to." Rin's eyes drifted off to stare at the tiny waterfall nearby.

"You feel like you abandoned him," Tsukiyo guessed shrewdly.

"Mmm." After a moment, Rin turned back to Tsukiyo, a mischievous grin on her face. "Tell you what. I'm going to officially name you my successor. To the title of Caretaker of Sesshoumaru-sama. Faithful Follower of Shou-chan."

Tsukiyo giggled. "That sounds very important."

"Uh-huh. _Very_ important and _very_ difficult. Not for the ordinary woman. Think you're up to the challenge, missy?"

"Yes, sir!" The two girls dissolved into gales of laughter.

As the laughter drifted back across the grounds, Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow in mild surprise. Rin's laughter was a reminder of some of his happiest moments and always welcome. But for all the months he had known her, Tsukiyo had never laughed. She was a silent shadow in his home, rarely reminding him of her presence except for her scent, for which he was grateful. It was difficult to be faced with a constant reminder of how moronic one had been. But still her laugh was pleasant, a rich, rolling sound unlike the shrill twitters of most females, human or youkai. In an odd way, it reminded him of his mother's laugh, though it was nothing like those clear crystal tones. Sesshoumaru gave a mental shrug; the mind often made illogical connections like that.

But it was unsettling to think of his mother at this time. She had been a proud woman, proud of her position, of her husband, of her son. She would have been very disappointed in him to discover the way things had turned out. His hand strayed to the fur he always wore. She had gifted it to him on her death bed; she was such a powerful demon that even her tail possessed powerful magic. _Mother, what would you say to your son now?_

He was pulled out of his reverie when he noticed that Sachiko, too, had an interest in the fur. Reining in his outrage, he pulled the end from her tiny fist just before it had a chance to go in her mouth. He growled in irritation. When was her mother going to come back and take responsibility for her?

When she finally reappeared, he remembered her last words to him. With a silent sigh, he led her to one of the family chambers and settled in for a lengthy and probably not undeserved lecture on his stupidity. What took him by surprise was the way she skipped over everything he expected her to say.

"Sesshoumaru-sama. I won't say I'm pleased with what has happened, but what is done is done. And besides, it takes two people to have an affair. That is not my concern." Her astringent tone was entirely contradicted by the tenderness on her face as she dandled Sachiko on her knee. "What I _am_ concerned about is how that girl's being treated now that she _is_ here."

"Surely you do not suggest that I would mistreat the girl?" Sesshoumaru's voice was low, dangerous.

"Not intentionally, no. But you ignore her, which eventually comes to the same thing. She is the mother of your child, Sesshoumaru-sama, and she deserves at least a little of your attention. Besides which, she's so shy and lonely--and in awe of you--that she won't ask for what she needs and her body's suffering from it. Haven't you noticed how thin she is? She's over seven months pregnant, for pity's sake! And yet she barely touches her food. You ought to be there, to make her eat for the sake of the child at least. She's only sixteen and has no idea how to take care of herself. Even I had my mother-in-law to look out for me, to give me tea when I had morning sickness and hold my hair back, to make sure everything went as well as possible. She has no one; you don't give her the time of day and none of your servants or retainers are going to pay the least attention to her unless you give them some sign to do so! And that's your job, Sesshoumaru-sama! _You're_ the father, whether you meant to be or not and that means you have responsibilities. You _ought_ to have a care for her and even if you don't, think about the child! It's your child, Sesshoumaru-sama. You are going to be a father. You need to see to its welfare. If she doesn't take care of herself, that child won't be healthy when it's born. She needs proper food and exercise and rest, and some conversation if you can manage it. She needs cheering up.

"Well, I've said my piece, Sesshoumaru-sama. Think it over. The two of us need to be on our way home. But I'll be back in another month and I'll stay until the baby's born. If I can, I'll bring a midwife with me. She's going to need someone who has more of an idea of what's going on than I do." Rin stood up, then leaned over Sesshoumaru to give him a kiss on his forehead. "Think about what I said, Sesshoumaru-sama. Please." And then she was gone.

Sesshoumaru leaned back against the wall and stared into space. Rin had brought up several things that had never occurred to him. That his child might not be born healthy That human birthing was so delicate 

That he would be a father.

_I'm going to be a father._ Sesshoumaru rolled that thought around in his mind. _I'm going to be a father._ Visions of his own childhood flashed before him like koi in a pond. His father teaching him to fight. Scrambling up his father's shoulders when he was very young. Touken-sama had appeared like a mountain to him in those days. And now. . . Now there would be a child who would look up to him just as he had looked up to his father. There would be a child who needed to be taken care of, guided, trained. He would be a hanyou. But he would be his son. His first-born. 

He would make sure his child was worthy of that position.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" The quiet voice emanating from beyond the closed door startled him. Quietly and effortlessly, the youkai stood and crossed the room, sliding open the door.

"It is time for the evening meal, Tsukiyo-san," he said smoothly. "Come. You need to eat."

--tsuzuku 

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Cultural Notes

__

Kami is Japanese for god or gods. In Shinto, however, _kami_ are perhaps more akin to spirits, being gods of mountains, trees, etc. People can also become _kami_ after they die.

__

Bosatsu are Buddhist deities, people who can go to Nirvana (paradise) but choose to stay and help others achieve Nirvana. Also known as bodhisattva.


	7. Of Moonlight and Honor 7

Well, this is it folks! The big day! Hold your breath and keep those cigars in reserve. (Or not, considering Japan had no idea tobacco existed at this point in time. But that's beside the point.) Anyway, I thank all of my reviewers to date, all of the ones to come and hope you enjoy the show. Oh, and I apologize to Tsukiyo for the following events and make no apologies whatsoever for Sesshoumaru's male chauvinist attitude. ^_~

Have fun, minna!

Ladymage Samiko ; )

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Of Moonlight and Honor

Part 7

Two more weeks passed and it was the night of the full moon. The skies were clear, though the nights were still bitterly cold in the mountain ranges. Sesshoumaru was untroubled by this, though Tsukiyo was bundled practically to her eyebrows. The high belt to accommodate her swelling stomach didn't help matters much, either.

Despite the weather and Tsukiyo's difficulty in climbing, both she and Sesshoumaru were perched on the roof for moon viewing. They said little to each other; indeed, Sesshoumaru almost never said anything unless it was necessary and Tsukiyo was not yet comfortable enough to start a conversation. She didn't mind, however. It was enough just to be able to enjoy his presence.

It was nearing midnight when Sesshoumaru's ears heard a tiny whimper. "Is something wrong?" he asked mildly, ignoring the slight feeling of alarm.

"No," Tsukiyo replied, looking embarrassed. "It's nothing."

"Really?" An eyebrow lifted and he let disbelief color his question.

"Mm." She smiled at him. "Your child is just letting me know how strong it's going to be. It has quite a good kick." A slight discomfort passed over her face. "Your child is active tonight." Tsukiyo bit her lip uncertainly. "Come feel. Please."

Sesshoumaru blinked his astonishment as she parted the thick layers of kimono, baring her stomach to the night air. "Please?" she whispered. Slowly, he crossed the space between them, intrigued in spite of himself. He had never been around a pregnant woman before Tsukiyo and was curious as to what she wanted. Gingerly, he seated himself next to her and watched her carefully. "Please, give me your hand?" When he held it out to her, she took it gently in her own soft hand and guided it to her belly. Sesshoumaru felt the softness of her skin, the smoothly rounded contours that had once been flat. Again he wondered what he was waiting for and cocked a curious eyebrow back at the girl. But before she could say a word, he felt it.

For a youkai who had spent his years receiving and blocking blows, this was nothing. A mere ripple. But. . . This was his child. His son. Not even born into this world and still he, Sesshoumaru could feel him, feel the strong evidence of his existence. For the first time in many years, the mask slipped and he looked into Tsukiyo's eyes with an expression of sheer wonder. "That-- that is my son." She smiled back at him--that secret, knowing smile of an expectant mother.

With no more words, he removed his hand and carefully drew the layers of fabric back over her belly. Just as cautiously, he lifted her in his arms. Surprised, Tsukiyo clutched at him for a few seconds before relaxing against his shoulder. Sesshoumaru accepted this calmly and with no further display of emotion, he carried the girl down the stairs.

Two weeks more and Rin returned, towing her mother-in-law behind her. A brisk, no-nonsense woman, Kyoumi-sama was now comfortable with her "in-law" and quickly brought the household into an order that suited her and "that poor, sweet child." Slightly rankled at the invasion, Sesshoumaru nevertheless allowed Kyoumi-san to have her way. She knew better than he what the girl needed. And besides, any intelligent male knows when he's met his match.

Soon, all that was left to do was wait.

"And just _why_ should I--?" Sesshoumaru drawled slowly, cocking an eyebrow.

Rin growled in irritation, pacing back and forth in front of the stoic youkai. "Because it's your child being born. Because you ought to see this through. Because she's _asked_ for you, the gods only know why. Dammit, Sesshoumaru-sama, finish what you started! Get in there!"

"Very well," Sesshoumaru sighed rising slowly from the floor by the window. "If you insist. But everything seems to be going well. I don't see what I am needed for."

Rin stared at him, then threw her hands in the air. "Just go to her, Sesshoumaru-sama." Impossible youkai! Men, human or youkai, never had _any_ idea about birthing. Well, he'd figure it out soon enough, she thought to herself as she bustled back to the chamber where Tsukiyo had already been in labor for the past two hours. It had taken _her_ that long to break down and ask for Sesshoumaru-sama. But she still would not utter a moan, much less a scream. Mother-in-law took that as a sign that the child would be strong, but it worried Rin. The girl was so fragile and the strength it took to keep from screaming the pain could drain her before it was over. As she knew from the birth of her own daughter, first children could take a long, hard time to be born.

"You asked for me?" Sesshoumaru's voice was calm and emotionless as usual when he entered the birthing room.

"I--" Tsukiyo gasped, "I did not think you would--" Her sentence broke off as another contraction wracked her body. Tsukiyo, determined to give no sign of weakness in front of her lord, grit her teeth and willed away the cry her body wanted her to voice. A very small grunt escaped her.

"Is this _normal_?" Sesshoumaru asked mildly, still standing across the room. From what he had heard, youkai women dropped pups (or cubs or kits, depending on the kind) as easily as breathing.

"Yes and no," Rin answered, taking hold of Tsukiyo's hand and wiping her forehead with a cloth. "Yes, it is normal for human birthing to take a long time. Yes, it is normal for it to hurt like hell. No, it is not normal to remain silent. Any ordinary woman would be yelling her head off and cursing you to the furthest hells for doing this to her."

"Interesting," was all Sesshoumaru had to say in reply. He took a seat in the corner, resting his arm on the lacquered wooden rest placed there.

It was eight hours later when Tsukiyo broke down and started sobbing out of both pain and the humiliation at giving into it. But she was so very, very tired that it no longer seemed to matter. Kyoumi had stopped fussing hours before and now simply waited for something, anything to change. Rin continued holding her hand and whispering comforting things to her, though Sesshoumaru could see the worry lines between her eyes and smell her growing despair. In spite of himself, he began to worry. If the child should die, then, of course, his dilemma would be solved. But-- This was his son, Sesshoumaru-sama's son. It would be unthinkable for his son to be so weak as to die before he was born. Impossible!

"Watch her," Kyoumi-san told Rin softly before beckoning the youkai lord to follow her outside. He glanced at the gardens, their spring growth serene and untroubled by the events occurring beyond the walls that surrounded them.

"My lord," Kyoumi began without further preamble, "if this continues much longer, Tsukiyo-chan will die and take the child with her."

"And?" he questioned coolly.

The woman glared at him. "There is little _we_ can do but wait and pray for her. If there is any sort of youkai magic that can help, I suggest you use it. If not, then at least show the girl a little sympathy. It may give her the strength she needs to see this through and if not, she will at least be comforted during her final moments. She loves you, it's plain to see, and anything you could do would make her happy beyond words. Even a small word of encouragement might help. She deserves that of you."

"It would seem that she deserves quite a bit for deceiving me," Sesshoumaru commented, "but if nothing else will please you. . ." He turned back and reentered the small room. He had to admit, however grudgingly, that he was beginning to admire this slip of a girl who lay exhausted on the futon before him. Youkai healed quickly; while they endured great pain on occasion, it was soon finished with. Tsukiyo had endured over ten hours of intense (from what he could determine) pain. It was little wonder that the tears had begun to slip down her face. Padding quietly over to her side, he knelt and took one of her hands in his own. "They say you are doing very well," he informed her.

He was rewarded with a small, tired smile that lasted for a split second before her face transformed into a mask of pain and her hand tightened its grip with a strength that amazed him. He blinked at the taut form for a few seconds. "She is strong," he said to no one in particular. "My son will be born."

"May the gods hear you," he heard Kyoumi mutter.

Perhaps the _kami_ of the mountain heard him. Perhaps Kanon, the bodhisattva of mercy, looked upon the woman-child's fighting spirit with favor. Or perhaps it was simply Tsukiyo herself, buoyed by his words of confidence, who performed the miracle. But it was not even another hour later when the strong, healthy cry of a newborn baby filled the quiet rooms of the castle.

It was impossible to see much from his place at Tsukiyo's side as the other two women bustled about, tending to the young one's needs, cutting the umbilical cord, drying it off, wrapping the child in warm blankets. But he could clearly see the baby's round, rosy face as it was handed to him--Tsukiyo being to weak to hold the child--and he definitely heard the loud cries the babe uttered, evidence of strong, healthy lungs. His son may be a half-breed, but was a child worthy of his name.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," Rin said, her voice happy, relieved, and proud. "Say hello to your new child, a healthy, beautiful little daughter." Sesshoumaru stared at his erstwhile ward.

"A healthy. . . beautiful. . . _daughter_?"

--tsuzuku

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Cultural Notes

None today, really. Giving birth is a fairly universal occurrence and doesn't require any translation. I love playing with Sesshoumaru's head. ^_~


	8. Of Moonlight and Honor 8

Note to all: Please see my info page to know when I update things. There is a very important reason I haven't been posting. It is still in effect, so please read the profile when you have a chance. Thank you very much, everyone who has reviewed so far. I read and appreciate everything you say. To Landlady of the Universe, I apologize for not answering your request. I will as soon as I figure out how exactly to answer it. And thank you to NOVAMARU for the information; I was unaware of it. As always, please R & R and more notes are at the bottom. 

Ladymage Samiko ; )

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Of Moonlight and Honor

Part 8

Sesshoumaru stared unseeing at the tiny bundle. A daughter. The gods had seen fit to toy with him once again. He hadn't even been able to match his father's indiscretion with a son of his own. Quickly, he thrust the girl back at Rin and left the room. Cradling the baby carefully, Rin gave Tsukiyo a worried glance. Thankfully, she had fallen into an exhausted sleep and would probably remain that way for some time.

"She needs her rest," Kyoumi told her, interpreting her look. "She is stronger than I had expected; she will be fine. Now go reason with that stubborn youkai. For all his youkai powers, he's just the same as the rest of them. Men!" she sniffed. Rin nodded and hurried out.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin spoke tentatively as she approached the youkai now sitting at the edge of the gardens. It was night, a beautiful spring night with the sakura falling gently to carpet the earth. A half-moon gave faint illumination, though not enough to make out any sort of expression on Sesshoumaru's face.

"She'll turn at the time of the waning half-moon," he said distantly. "The moon is waxing now. The day of her birth is the time of strongest _ki_. She will be human when it wanes."

"Oh." Rin moved to sit beside him, carefully shifting the girl in her arms. "She's fought a long, hard battle to meet you, Sesshoumaru-sama. You should at least say hello."

"What am I supposed to do, Rin?" he asked suddenly. "What am _I_ supposed to do with a half-blood _daughter_?"

"The same as you did with me," Rin returned. "Take care of her, watch out for her. Love her. She _is_ your daughter, Sesshoumaru-sama. I rather think she'll be a lot more than what you're thinking right now. But at least take some time to get to know her before you dismiss her out of hand. Let _her_ tag along with you for a while. She deserves that chance even more than I did."

Sesshoumaru gave a small snort of laughter. "At least you were older. I haven't the faintest idea what to do with a baby."

"You didn't have the faintest idea what to do with _me_, "she retorted. "Try holding her again, Sesshoumaru-sama. Any father can do that much."

Sesshoumaru sighed and held out his arms. Rin carefully arranged the child in the crook of his growing left arm, leaving his hand free. He looked down and the baby smiled sleepily up at him, a tiny fist waving in the air. He blinked. Black fuzz already covered her head, fluffing out as it dried. In the midst of it were two tiny white points of ears, swiveling to catch the sounds of the night. Something in the noises startled her and she opened her eyes wide. Sesshoumaru stared. Her eyes. . . her eyes were an extraordinary, rich purple. Not the rose-tinted violet of her mother's, but the vivid blue-violet of _ayame_.

They were his mother's eyes.

Once again, Rin found the newborn practically shoved into her arms and both matron and babe stared wide-eyed as Sesshoumaru disappeared into the shadows.

It was three days later when he returned. Rin could see something troubling in his eyes, but said nothing as he approached the pale young mother and the child feeding hungrily at her breast. Tsukiyo looked up at the youkai and smiled. "Sesshoumaru-sama," she greeted him, her voice faint. "Your daughter is very eager and very strong." There was a quiet pride in her voice that was shadowed slightly as she continued. "I am sorry, Sesshoumaru-sama, that I could not give you a son."

"Until such time as a son is born to me," Sesshoumaru stated calmly, "this child is my heir. She is to be treated as such. And so do I present her now with these tokens of her status." He held out first a hakama. "You are my daughter, granddaughter of my mother, and so do I present you with her hakama. Wear them well, my daughter." At the distraction, the baby pulled away from her mother's breast to stare silently at the dark bundle of fabric. "Also," he continued, laying the hakama on the floor by Tsukiyo's side, and reaching towards his belt, "do I present you with this, a katana made by the swordmaster, Toutousai." He pulled the sword from those bound at his waist and held it in front of the child, its gold-trimmed, black-lacquered sheath gleaming. The baby's tiny hand reached out for it as she gurgled. There was perhaps a tiny smile on Sesshoumaru's face. "Bear it well, my daughter."

"The naming ceremony is, of course, in four days time." The ceremonial air was laid abruptly aside as he turned away. "You may choose the name, as my father is not here to perform that task. And she will be presented to the household and my retainers at that time." Emotionless, he walked out of the room. "Be sure you are ready at that time," he called back as he left.

Rin stood silently to the side as an honorary member of the family during the naming ceremony. She had been dubious about the way Sesshoumaru had turned it into a public event and had spoken to him about it a few days before.

"Because it is necessary, Rin," he had replied steadily.

"I don't see why," she commented. "What's the point of exposing all of you to the gossip and ridicule that is going to follow?"

"I trust that my reputation will keep the ridicule, at least, to a minimum, as my father's did when that. . . moron was whelped. But you must understand, Rin, that there is no way to stop the rumors. Her parentage will be painfully obvious as the child grows up. And I have chosen to acknowledge her. There is no other way around it. By opening the ceremony to the household and my retainers, I make the situation fact. Everyone will know where I stand on the matter. What they think of it matters little. What does matter is that Tsukiyo and the child will be known to be under my protection. And to harm my heir is tantamount to declaring war on the Western Lands. She will be a target in any case, but most youkai will think twice before taking on such a task."

"Hmm." Rin thought for a moment. "I suppose I understand. I don't like it, though."

Sesshoumaru gave her a wry look. "You don't have to like it," he replied. "You just have to attend."

And so here she was.

Tsukiyo looked luminous, if tired. She was still recovering from the difficult birthing, but had regained enough strength to stand beneath the forty pounds of kimono that constituted formal wear. She held the well-wrapped child close, using all of her childhood training to stand tall before all the eyes on her. A precious few were friendly or deferential. Most were hostile or derisive.

Sesshoumaru raised his voice to be heard throughout the hundred or more people who had gathered before the castle. "I, Sesshoumaru, son of the great lord, Inu Taisho, am before you today to present to you my child. I have acknowledged her as blood of my blood and so she is before you today as my heir apparent. Know that both she and her mother are under my name."

The courtyard buzzed with surprise. That the great Inu Taisho had fathered a bastard hanyou had been no shock to the youkai; affairs (consensual or otherwise) with mortals were not uncommon and such children were considered a sign of the youkai's virility. The blood mix was tricky, though, and few lived to adulthood. That the hanyou Inu Yasha had lived and was recognized as minor heir was unusual, but not surprising. The fact that he survived made him worthy of some portion of the Taiyoukai's estate. But now, Inu Taisho's son was not only acknowledging his daughter, he was making her _full heir_. This was unheard of!

Sesshoumaru outwaited the annoying noise before speaking again. "And it is as my heir apparent that I name her today." He held up the paper that bore the _kanji_ of the child's full name. "I present to you Inu Chuugokuchihou no Hime Yumemi."

At this point in the ceremony, there were normally great cheers. Today, the pronouncement was met with dead silence.

--tsuzuku. . .

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Cultural Notes (skip 'em if you like)

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Ki is the same word as _chi_, which is life force, I suppose you could say. I could go on, but the easiest explanation is that it's like the Force in Star Wars. Before the moronic midychlorian idea was introduced.

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ayame = Japanese Iris

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hakama are normally used for traditional Japanese martial arts such as _kendo_ (fencing) and _iaido_ (sword drawing). They resemble a split skirt.

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The presentation of the sword and _hakama_ are taken from the imperial traditions and are from articles about the birth of Princess Aiko (daughter of Japan's current Crown Prince).

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The naming ceremony is also from descriptions of Princess Aiko's ceremonies and does take place seven days after the child's birth, but I did make up most of the events. So don't quote me as being accurate on this one.

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Forty pounds is what a _geiko_'s outfit weighs today, so I think it is a safe esimate for the formal clothing Tsukiyo might have worn. (A _geiko_ is a type of _geisha_.)

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Yumemi's name: _Inu_ (dog) seems to be the family name, going by various fics, so that's why I've used it, though now I think of it, Inu Sesshoumaru sounds a little odd. _Chuugokuchihou_ seems to be the Japanese for the Western Lands (which I have now pinpointed) but as I don't have the Japanese version of Inu Yasha, I may be wrong. So _Chuugokuchihou no Hime_ is "Lady of the Western Lands." It is a title and also me mixing a few different naming traditions. _Yumemi_ is the child's given name. Depending on the _kanji_ chosen, it could mean either "dreamseer" or "beautiful dream." I (or Tsukiyo) chose "dreamseer."


	9. Of Moonlight and Honor 9

Thanks for the reviews, minna! I get a silly grin every time I read them. ^_^ LilacRose23: I don't like Sess/Rin much either. I think it's _possible_, but given that we haven't seen her grown up yet, it feels a little squicky. Misao CG: *grinz* Shinoku : Yes, Yume-chan is definitely going to get more screen time as she gets older. Her part in dealing swift kicks to Sess's psyche is important! Not to mention the fact that I like her as a char. once she gets older. Silvermagess: I know, it's been too long... *hangs head* I'll try to write faster.

And now, on with the show!

Ladymage Samiko ; )

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Of Moonlight and Honor

Part Nine

"Why are you doing this?" The soft question startled the youkai and he turned to face the quiet young woman.

The ceremony was over and Tsukiyo had chosen a simple _kosode_ and _mobakama_ in pale violet and green silks instead of the heavy layers of her formal wear. She had retreated to the side of the room and was so self-effacing that many might have mistaken her for a servant. The tongues of hair on either side of her face fell forward and hid her eyes. "Why are you doing this?" she asked again. "You do not need a _hanyou_ heir, much less a bastard, female heir. We both know this. And your position on the matter was clear enough without going through this- this farce. It is absurd. And I had--hoped--that we would live here quietly."

"I take care of my own," Sesshoumaru said shortly before turning to leave. "And what is done is done."

Tsukiyo did not move as he brushed past her and he gave no sign that he noticed the tears slowly tracing the curves of her cheeks.

"You are leaving, then?" Sesshoumaru watched from the doorway as Rin bundled up the few possessions she had brought with her.

"It's time and past that I leave, Sesshoumaru-sama. I wish I could stay, but you know as well as I that I have duties there I can't ignore. Both Tsukiyo and Yumemi are doing well enough. Just. . ." Rin's voice trailed off into silence. "Be kind to her, Sesshoumaru-sama. I know I've said this before, but. . ." She looked him in the eye. "Yumemi's birth was very difficult for her. She's recovered as much as she's ever will; she'll never be as healthy as she was before. It won't take much to kill her. She won't need a lot of care, but you'll have to keep an eye on her. If nothing else, for the sake of the child."

"I take care of my own," Sesshoumaru said stiffly for the second time that day.

"I know you do." Rin smiled at him, then reached over to give him a daughter's kiss on his cheek. She turned to gather her things.

"Before you go, Rin." The young woman looked back at the youkai, curious. He continued, "I have a gift for your daughter. Neither you nor she are of my blood, but you are my ward. You and she are part of my clan. This is for her and her descendants." Sesshoumaru pressed a small object into Rin's hand. "I cannot always be there for you, but if any of your blood have need of me, they need only think of me and clasp this. Wherever I am, I will come." He tightened his grip on her hand briefly, then dropped it. "Be well, Rin."

After he had left the room, Rin opened her hand to look at the cool, smoothly polished stone. It was a _netsuke_ in the shape of a curled-up dog that snarled. At first glance, it was unremarkable, carved from ivory as _netsuke_ often were. But then Rin noticed the narrowed slits of the dog's eyes, which glowed sullenly in the light, their colour a dark blood-red.

Life resumed a quiet, even course at last in the Inu castle. Sesshoumaru was awakened in the night several times by Yumemi's cries, but soon learned that they were nothing that concerned him and then proceeded to ignore them. He spent some little time with the child, but was quick to realize that there really was little he could do at this point in her life. He did not play. He did not 'fuss' over her. He supposed that her progress was rapid (Yume-chan was, after all, _his_ child) but he had no way to judge. And he did not, as the women of the household appeared to do, find babies 'cute.' Still, he tried to spend time with her and Tsukiyo on a regular basis. Tsukiyo had taken up duties in the household such as were appropriate to a wife and not intrusive to his privacy. She oversaw the servants and the household monies with quiet efficiency. She stitched and embroidered his _kosode_ and _sashinuki_ with skill. She learned his moods and catered to them with greater sensitivity and skill than his retainers had ever shown, even after these several hundred years. He came to depend on the luxuries that would be ready for him the moment he returned home: the hot, calming tea, the bath water steaming in its pot and tub, the small hands that would, depending on his mood, scrub his back and massage his shoulders.

But life is constant in one thing only: change.

War erupted in the Eastern Lands, a civil war that fragmented the territory as the former lord's lackeys fought to rule what rightfully belonged to the old youkai's adopted heir. And while Sesshoumaru could care less about the fate of the territory itself, he needed to protect his borders and perhaps expand them. Not much; inviting the civil war onto his own territory was not his goal. He would relish the battle, but chaos in his own lands would be annoying at the very least.

And so, Sesshoumaru donned his armor, packed his gear. and set off with his men for the Eastern border.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Battles are swift, quickly begun and quickly ended. But a war is made of many battles and in between battles are strategies and movements, tallying of losses and reconsidering the value of what one has gained. Years passed before Sesshoumaru allowed himself to return home to the castle in the mountains. Years before the East had quieted enough to let him feel his borders safe with the few men he left there.

The homecoming was a joyful occasion. After a decade of fighting and with the glory of winning, Sesshoumaru's followers were more than ready to see their friends and families again, to bask in their admiration and boast of their deeds. Though he would never admit it, Sesshoumaru himself rather looked forward to a long bath in the castle's _furo_ and a long, leisurely meal. Still, he did not announce his return, but entered his home quietly; he did not care for the fanfare and fuss of a ceremony. And it was unnecessary, for his servants were well trained and able to prepare for him with only a moment's notice.

Later, cleaned and rested, he walked along the covered deck to Tsukiyo's quarters. To his daughter's quarters.

He heard them before he saw them; Tsukiyo was playing the _koto_ and a piping voice accompanied it. That in itself startled him, for he had forgotten how hanyou children age. At ten years old, a youkai pup would still be in its infancy. A hanyou, on the other hand, would age only two times more slowly than an ordinary human until it was sexually mature, after which it would age the same as any other youkai. Sesshoumaru thought of that for a few moments, realizing that his daughter would now be a small child. How much had she grown, changed, learned? Did she look like her mother? Like him? Did it matter? He shrugged. It didn't, really. The only thing that mattered was how she had trained in his absence. He had not left any instructions as far as her education and training was concerned, so likely her mother had been the only one to teach her anything. And if so, her education was probably abysmally inadequate. With this in mind, he slid open the thin door.

The music stopped abruptly. "Sesshoumaru-sama..." Tsukiyo breathed. He could see her face light up with pleasure, though that did not disguise its thinness. "_Okaeri nasai_, Sesshoumaru-sama." Moving the _koto_, she bowed from her place on the floor. A slight movement caught his eye; a small girl was seated next to Tsukiyo: Yumemi.

She knew him; he could tell that much from the way her nostrils flared and how her eyes, though wide, held awe but no fear. And he would have recognized her anywhere, even if he had only his eyes to use. She was tall for a child of her age and as slender as her mother. The large blue-violet eyes that were staring at him were not only the color but the exact shape of his mother's. And they were set in a face that he himself recognized from looking in his mother's prized mirror as a child. It was framed by purple-black hair cut in a traditional girls' bob in which the startlingly white points of her ears twitched. The girl's eyes flicked towards her mother briefly. Sesshoumaru watched Tsukiyo give the tiniest of nods.

Yumemi stood carefully. She approached her father, stopped, and bowed. "_Okaeri nasai, otou-sama_," she recited in a low voice. "I offer my most humble congratulations on your auspicious victories in the East."

Sesshoumaru inclined his head slightly in return, pleased at his daughter's sense of propriety. "I thank you and am most pleased to accept them. I am also pleased to see how you have grown. I look forward to hearing of your progress and to beginning your training." How many times had he heard his father say the exact same formal phrases? Only in company, however. Once in private, he had made it quite clear how dismally his son and heir had failed to meet his expectations.

To his surprise, Yumemi smiled broadly, then clapped her hands. "_Okaa-chan_ said that she couldn't teach me the sword, but you might. Will you, _otou-sama_? Please?"

Had he ever been that... enthusiastic? He blinked down at the child. "As my daughter, sword training shall certainly prove an asset to you. If you wish it, I shall. But I warn you now, daughter, once you begin, it will be difficult. And I will not allow you to slacken or quit." Sesshoumaru was then bowled over, almost literally, by an armful of ten-year-old hanyou launched at his chest.

"_Domo arigatou, otou-sama_!" she cried gleefully. "_Domo domo domo domo domo_!"

--tsuzuku. . .

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Cultural Notes (skip 'em if you like)

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kosode and _mobakama -- _A _kosode_ is a short-sleeved kimono. _Mobakama_ is a wrapped skirt. Basically, this is the type of outfit Sango wears over her exterminating gear. It's a little too lower class for Tsukiyo, really, but the girl deserves the occasional comfortable clothing.

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netsuke -- small figurines that were used to anchor the things one kept in one's sash, like a fan or money pouch. I'm not sure if women wore them during this period, but since this will become an important element later on and women didn't wear jewelry, I decided to use it.

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kosode and _sashinuki_ -- Sesshoumaru's normal outfit. Again, _kosode_ is the top half. _Sashinuki_ (also called _nu-bakama_) are the large trousers gathered at the ankle. This would have been everyday wear for a warrior general.

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furo -- classic Japanese-style bath.

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koto -- a stringed instrument more or less like a zither

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Okaeri nasai -- "Welcome home" formal version

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otou-sama -- most formal version of "father"

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Okaa-chan -- "mommy"

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domo arigatou -- "thank you very much!"


	10. Of Moonlight and Honor 10

Thanks to Misao CG, Vesta, the great, and Blooded-Blade for reviewing! Here's hoping I continue to please. (And continue to work. *fingers crossed*) Just as a personal rant: _why_ is it that people think it is a decent fanfic to take characters from one series and plop them into the plot of another series? It nearly always follows the plot slavishly, with only a few of the characters' little idiosyncrasies to show that these are, in fact, different characters. Just watch the originals! They're better written anyway! By people who actually _do_ think for themselves! Funny that... Anyway, that's my OT rant for the day. Most of you probably skipped it, so it doesn't matter much in any case. Have fun, minna!

Ladymage Samiko ^_~

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Of Moonlight and Honor

Part Ten

"Now again!" Sesshoumaru barked. "Ich' ni san, ich' ni san!" Yumemi followed his count as she moved through the basic cuts used in swordplay. She was quick to learn and took instruction well, never complaining when the long hours led to sore muscles, or when her father's impatience led to sharp words. She simply grit her teeth and worked harder. Sesshoumaru had to admit that even had Yumemi been a full youkai, she could not have done any better.

Tsukiyo watched from the sidelines, smiling. She could see Sesshoumaru's pride in his daughter and his absorption in her training. Though he continued to treat Tsukiyo with a cool reserve, she felt proud that she could have given him such a daughter and educated her well enough to meet his standards. For she could feel his approval and basked in it like a sun-starved flower. And it made her happy.

She looked up as Sessoumaru-sama shouted, "Enough!" and rose to offer both of them drying cloths. Sesshoumaru threw off his sweat-soaked _kosode_ and tossed it in the empty basket by the wall, then accepted the cloth with a grunt of thanks. Yumemi accepted hers with a polite "thank you," having been berated by her father the one time she tried to imitate his behavior. She was expected to show proper modesty and respect for her parent. Tsukiyo smiled at her little girl. Yumemi grinned back, knowing that she and her mother would be right back here again this afternoon. And Otou-sama would know nothing about it. Tsukiyo was unsure whether or not Sesshoumaru would approve and Yume-chan looked forward to surprising him one day with her skill.

Sesshoumaru finished drying off, throwing the cloth into the basket as well. With a pat on the head for Yumemi and a polite nod to Tsukiyo, he stalked out of the _dojo_, intent on his own affairs as Taiyoukai. He left the remainder of the girl's education to Tsukiyo, as she had not proved incapable, though tutors would be found who were masters of their subjects as Yumemi grew older. For instance, while obviously skilled at playing the _koto_, Tsukiyo did not excel, and so was not to be entrusted with teaching the girl the finer points of the art. And though she knew a smattering of _kanji_ (how, he could not imagine), she knew far from enough to ensure the girl's ability. And as his heir apparent, it was imperative that Yumemi know as much as she could learn. For the youkai world was not all about fighting on the battlefield. Many skirmishes also took place within the castles, in the audience chamber. Still, for a girl her age, she was no ignorant chit.

And so Yumemi spent the noon meal and her afternoons with her mother, learning writing, singing, _chado,_ playing the _koto_, and a little arithmetic. In the late afternoon, she and her mother returned secretly to the _dojo_, so she could learn the weapon her mother and many other women specialized in: the _naginata_. A tall staff ending in a _katana_-like blade, the _naginata_ was considered an excellent weapon for a woman, as it gave them a longer reach than a sword and kept what were often taller, stronger opponents at bay. Yumemi had perfected the basic movements; her mother was now drilling her in the more advanced _kata_. Still, Yumemi felt frustrated at her progress, since she had seen her mother practice with her own full-sized weapon. Okaa-chan was as beautiful and lethal as a hawk with her _naginata_ in her hands. As beautiful as Otou-sama was. Next to them, she felt gawky, awkward, like she would never be able to be as good as they were. However, as her mother always told her, she was Sesshoumaru-sama's daughter; his strength was in her blood. She was capable of anything. So she clenched her jaw and focused.

Evenings, before she was sent to bed, were her favorite time of day. Before Otou-sama came home from the war, her mother would play and sing, or recite stories of her clan. Now that he was here, he joined them after the evening meal. (She didn't know that Rin-oba-chan had practically ordered him to.) If her mother played, then she would climb into his lap to listen. He had seemed a little stiff at first, but after a few weeks, he relaxed and even put a tentative arm around her. But she could tell he enjoyed the music. Okaa-chan didn't seem to want to tell stories with Otou-sama around, but Otou-sama could tell really good stories himself. Sometimes he would tell her about all the amazing things her grandfather had done. It seemed like he had been a really strong youkai. Other times, he would read to them from scrolls that he brought from his library. Those could be neat, too, because a lot of times they were youkai histories, all about fighting evil youkai and humans and other magical creatures. Still other times, Otou-sama and Okaa-chan would have poetry competitions*, firing off lines for the other to complete. Otou-sama would get very annoyed, though, when Okaa-chan was able to stump him.

And on a very few nights, they would go outside. Oftentimes, Otou-sama would show her how to move stealthily in the darkness, how to be aware of everything, since, as he told her, enemies often attacked at night, when they thought you weren't looking. In spring, there were cherry blossoms to see. Okaa-chan danced among them one night, when the moon was full and there were so many they blanketed the ground. She was so pretty with her white, pink, and red kimonos, the strands of her long, black hair framing her face, the petals falling around her and flying up where she danced. Yumemi had looked up at her father and seen the oddest look on his face. When she was older, she would look back and describe it as 'wistful.'

There was one time, though, when Otou-sama would disappear. When the half-moon appeared in the sky and was shrinking, she changed. Her ears moved down and her eyes turned black. Her claws shrank into tiny nubs. It had been like this ever since she could remember. It was the one time when she looked more like Okaa-chan. She had explained it to Yumemi a long time ago, so it wasn't a problem, it was just something that happened. Still, it hurt once she realized that Otou-sama left every time it happened. Her mother didn't say so, but since Otou-sama avoided her during the half-moon times, did that mean it was something to be ashamed of?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life became settled and (relatively) calm once more for Sesshoumaru. However, he could not say--as he had once before--that he was in any way bored. Training Yumemi in the art of the sword was time-consuming and brought with it its own set of challenges. She was a very good student, certainly, but he often had to figure out for himself exactly how much he could push her. He still wasn't quite sure what to do with her otherwise. It seemed, though, that it pleased her just to sit on his lap, her head tucked against his shoulder. In those evenings he spent with her and her mother, she could spend hours there, just sitting quietly, her hands clutching his _kosode_ gently. He could almost think her asleep, but would catch her eyes staring up at him. Wide. Adoring. Trusting. Innocent. And it would catch him--quite suddenly--the knowledge that she was _his_. That his blood ran through her veins and would bind them together more strongly than any other earthly tie. And that she knew this and knew, somehow, that he would always be there to protect her. Not because he was Sesshoumaru-sama, Taiyoukai of the Western Lands, but because he was Otou-sama. For Yumemi, there was no doubt. And though he wondered at the feeling, he, too, knew somehow that he could never betray her faith in him.

And every so often, he wondered if his father had ever felt this way about him. If this was what his father had felt for Inu Yasha.

Still, there were other things to be done. He trained Yumemi in the things she needed to know about the land and youkai, about how to fight and track. He left other subjects to her mother, adding tutors and retainers to Yumemi's staff as Tsukiyo's knowledge failed her. Sesshoumaru kept a close eye on them, however, for he could not ignore the disgruntled reaction of his people upon her investiture as his heir.

The one night he took for himself was when the waning half-moon rose in the night sky. He would roam his lands or practice for hours in the underground cave. If he had wanted to delude himself, he could have explained it away as necessary practice, necessary defense. But he was brutally honest with himself. He was still disgusted by the fact that he had coupled with a human and though Yumemi was an excellent child in her way, to see her change into a human shamed him. And he did not want to know how he would react to that shame.

And he continued to ask himself why it mattered in the first place.

--tsuzuku. . .

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Cultural Notes (skip 'em if you like)

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ich' ni san -- properly: _ichi ni san_. trans.: one two three. You hear this _alot_ in kendo. Trust me.

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dojo -- training area for martial arts

*poetry competitions -- many of you are undoubtedly going to look at this bit and say, "What the ---- was she thinking?!" _However_, being skilled in poetry was an important asset to the nobility beginning with the Heian period in Japan. (Often viewed as their Golden Age, more or less.) As the warrior classes came to power, they wished to pride themselves on being as cultured and civilized as the nobility. And so they continued the tradition. The ability to craft (good) poems was a sign of intelligence and sensitivity (which was, interestingly enough, a _manly_ trait). In a competition, one person would begin a poem and the other would have to finish it. (They were short, _haiku_-type poems.) And while Sesshoumaru may not be Mr. Sensitivity, I doubt he'd want it to be thought he was lacking in wit. So, though apparently not as good as Tsukiyo, he can compose poetry.

Class is over for today. You are all excused. ^_~


	11. Of Moonlight and Honor 11

No notes today. You don't want to read me blathering on anyway. LS ^_~ 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Of Moonlight & Honor 

Part Eleven

But spring gave way to summer, which in turn handed the reins to autumn, which then bowed out gracefully in deference to winter. And matters remained the same.

Winter did, however, with its arrival bring a few changes to the household. The youkai forces relaxed their vigilance against each other a little; winter was the resting time for earth and youkai alike. Snow blanketed the ground; Yumemi rejoiced in bounding among the drifts, throwing snowballs at Sachiko when Rin brought her daughter for a visit. Tsukiyo, never as healthy as she had been before Yumemi's birth, caught what was apparently her annual cold. She still attempted to perform all of her duties, but was ordered to her room by both Rin and Sesshoumaru. Yumemi's tutors took up the task of educating the girl full-time while Tsukiyo recovered. Tsukiyo refused to remain in her rooms in the evening, though, and joined the intimate family gathering as she normally did. Sessoumaru learned to respect her for her quiet endurance of her illness (though he was disdainful of the fact that she was weak enough to become ill in the first place). And though frustrated, he also came to respect her quick intelligence as she continued to defeat him in their impromptu poetry contests. She also proved an intelligent listener to the histories and tales he told Yumemi. In all, it was a quiet time in the mountains of the Western Lands and, for the first time in centuries, the Taiyoukai was content.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was the first month of the year, the eve of the waning half-moon. Once again, Sesshoumaru left his home with the excuse of a need to patrol his territory, still uncomfortable with the idea of a hanyou daughter. He leapt easily from rock to tree-top and back, letting his mind drift away from his disturbing thoughts and be entirely controlled by his hunter's instincts. He revelled in the sights, smells, sounds. In the wind through his hair and the solid feel of the rocks under his feet.

His ear twitched back, hearing something from the direction from which he had come. Hearing the sound of a childish scream of terror. He stiffened in utter shock for the briefest moment before he was gone, only the tiniest sifting of dust to prove he had been there at all.

He found the castle eerily quiet. While he kept the number of servants and retainers in residence to a minimum, all of them appeared to have followed their master's example and removed themselves from the immediate area. His anger grew as room after room proved itself empty. Anger not only at his faithless servants, but at himself. To leave the castle this vulnerable to invaders! It was a disgrace!

"Okaa-chan!" The cry served to pinpoint his daughter's location, though he needed no such indicator; he had already heard and identified the sounds of combat. With youkai speed, he hurried to the rear of the castle, where Yumemi and her mother were housed. The sound of steel against steel sounded clearly in the still night. Was his daughter holding off the attackers? Even as a human? The possibility was dizzying.

But he could hear the cold steel and his daughter's voice. And he could smell youkai blood.

Drawing the Toukijin, his feet pounding the wood decks, Sesshoumaru rushed the unknown assailants. He found three still standing and cut two of them down before they could turn to face him. Assassins deserved no honorable death. The third he kept at the point of his sword, forcing the youkai to turn and face him. "Who ordered this?" he asked, his voice low and steady. When the youkai remained silent, his sword flashed, slicing two thin lines down each side of the assassin's face. "I can cause you much pain before I allow you to die," he added conversationally. "I will not ask you again."

The black-clad youkai looked down at the sword at his throat and visibly swallowed. He knew he had no chance against the Taiyoukai, whose gold eyes were hard and merciless. If he had a warrior's honor, he would throw himself on the sword and end this before he could be made to speak. But he and his companions were merely hired killers. He had no loyalty and no obligation. "Nagisa-sama, my lord." The lord's smile was the last thing he saw before he collapsed to the floor, body sliding off of the blade of the Toukijin.

Sesshoumaru stripped the blood from the sword and sheathed it. "Nagisa will pay for this." The youkai retainer had been visibly displeased with Yumemi's investiture as heir. That he had waited spoke well for his abilities, but disobedience merited death. It would be taken care of. In the meantime, Sesshoumaru finally took a moment to assess the scene.

What he found was enough to freeze him in shock. Both mother and daughter were alive and though Yumemi held her sword, its blade was unbloodied. Tsukiyo stood before her daughter, leaning heavily on an upright naginata. Three more men lay around her as she struggled to breathe, apparently ignorant of the blood flowing down the blade of her weapon and onto her hair and fingers. Her face tilted slowly up towards him. He was struck by the odd smile of triumph on her face. "I was strong enough for our daughter, Sesshoumaru-sama," she breathed. "I was strong enough... for her."

Tsukiyo toppled slowly forward. Yumemi ran towards her. Sesshoumaru realized distantly as he caught Tsukiyo in his arms that none of the blood was hers. She had faced six youkai and lived.


	12. Of Moonlight and Honor 12

I'm not sure if I'm pleased or apalled at this chapter. Get out your hankies, girls, I've laid the melodrama on nice and thick this time.   
Ladymage Samiko ^_~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Of Moonlight and Honor   
Part Twelve

"Is she any better?" Sesshoumaru asked quietly.

Rin shook her head. "She should never have gotten out of her bed. Tuskiyo's exhausted herself. Her cold's become pneumonia." She looked up into his face, her own expression drawn, her eyes pleading for Sesshoumaru-sama to make it right somehow. "I don't think she can last much longer."

It had been a week since the attack on his family. When he had found it impossible to rouse Tsukiyo, he sent Jaken and A-un to fetch Rin. Kyoumi-san had returned with them and it was she who gave Sesshoumaru the news that Tsukiyo was dying. In inexplicable anger, he had turned abruptly and left the castle. There had been little left of Nagisa when he returned covered in blood. At least, little that could be identified as youkai.

Yumemi's round face had been solemn when he returned. And he could not think of a single thing to tell her.

"Toshi was supposed to stay with us," she told him. "He laughed when I ordered him to stay and said he owed nothing to a human." She pulled her hands from behind her, showing her father the bloodstained claws. "He won't laugh anymore," she said with somber satisfaction.

"No," Sesshoumaru agreed, "he won't laugh. Come, Yume-chan. We should bathe before we go in to see your mother." They clasped hands and went together.

But though the deaths of the traitors went some way to soothing their feelings, they could not improve Tsukiyo's health. She steadily declined over the week that followed. All that was left of her was a pale, sweating shadow of the woman she had been, as startling a difference as that between her youkai persona and her human one. And it kept reminding him of something he had said once: "I take care of my own." Tsukiyo was dying and it made him feel like a hypocrite.

He limited Yumemi's time in the sickroom on Rin's advice, so that the girl wouldn't attract the devils of sickness herself. They would visit together, in the evenings when the family had been accustomed to gathering. Yumemi would curl up next to her mother, her eyes sad, but dry. Sesshoumaru would sit nearby, silent, unwilling to intrude on the moment, unsure of what to say otherwise. Tsukiyo would occasionally look over at him and smile tentatively, but she did not speak to him, either.

On this day, it was early for a visit--only mid-afternoon--but Sesshoumaru felt that they could not waste any time. Rin had said that there wasn't much longer for the young woman. Unfamiliar with illness, he wasn't quite sure what this meant exactly, only that time was running out. He sent Yumemi in before him, though he did not tell her what Rin had said. He himself returned to his own chambers. There was a sword stand there, across from his bed. He knelt before it and for long, silent moments, he regarded the swords it bore. Slowly, he reached across and took the top sword in a firm grip. Rising, he gave thanks to his father's spirit and asked for guidance from his mother's. He took his leave and retraced his steps to Tsukiyo's chamber, the Tenseiga at his side.

"Sesshoumaru-sama..." Tsukiyo breathed, surprised. She appeared unsure as to whether she should be pleased or embarrassed that he had joined them. Coughing, she struggled to pull herself up into a sitting position but was abruptly halted by the pressure of Sesshoumaru's hand on her chest. She stared at him, wide-eyed.

"You are ill," he rumbled. "Do not make the problem worse." Tsukiyo nodded mutely and relaxed back against her pillow.

Her eyes drifted down and away from him, avoiding all contact for several quiet moments. Her hand, which was busy stroking Yumemi's hair, was the only thing in the room that moved. "I think," she rasped, "that both you and I know that there is little I can do that would make my situation any worse than it is, Sesshoumaru-sama." He head dipped in a grave nod. "Still," she continued, a slight smile illuminating her face, "I cannot regret anything, Sesshoumaru-sama. I made a promise to Yumemi a very long time ago and I was able to keep it. I only wish--" she broke off as her lungs fought to clear themselves. Wordlessly, Sesshoumaru supported her head and chest as she turned to expel the thick phlegm into a bowl. As she settled back down, one hand went back to the small girl lying beside her, the other covered his own, keeping it against her. "I only wish, Sesshoumaru-sama," she whispered, "that I could be stronger. I want to continue keeping that promise. I want to be there for her as she becomes a young lady.

"And I want to be there for you." Her eyes looked up at him apologetically. "I am sorry, Sesshoumaru-sama, that I couldn't be the strong youkai you wanted."

An instant revelation surprised him. He replied, "You are the strongest woman I have ever known," and knew he spoke the truth.

"Sesshoumaru-sama..." she breathed. He tried to pull his hand back; he could smell death hovering over her and knew he would not have much time to use the Tenseiga once it claimed her. But her hand clutched his tighter when she saw the sword belted at his side. "No!" came her harsh exclamation. In surprise, her daughter sat up, taking the hand that stroked her hair in her own two. "Let me go, Sesshoumaru-sama," Tsukiyo pleaded. "This is how it should be. Just let me go."

"Okaa-chan..." Yumemi's eyes pleaded with her mother, tears brimming within them.

Tsukiyo smiled once again, that odd, serene smile. "Enma is calling me, my little Yume-chan. As strong as you are, you will learn that no one can resist the gods. Not even you, Sesshoumaru-sama.

"I do love you, Yume-chan, with all my heart. You are the reason for my life and with you here, healthy and happy, I do not regret my actions. I love you, my daughter.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"Yes?"

Her hand squeezed his slightly. "I have loved you from the first moment I saw you. I still love you after all of these years. If you remember nothing else of me, remember that." Sesshoumaru knew there was a time when he would have snorted in derision at these weak, human sentiments. But now, Tsukiyo's words were important. He regarded her solemnly, quietly. She seemed satisfied.

After a long moment where nothing save Tsukiyo's harsh breathing disturbed the silence, it startled him to feel her pull at his hand. He allowed it and she put his and Yumemi's hands together. "Take care of each other," she ordered softly. "She is your responsibility, Sesshoumaru-sama. And he is yours, Yume-chan. Take care of your father." Her words slipped into silence as unconsciousness claimed her. Yumemi and Sesshoumaru kept watch over her, their hands still clasped until, less than an hour later, her harsh breaths stilled and her spirit flew.

--tsuzuku. . .

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Cultural Notes (skip 'em if you like)

Enma is a Buddhist god who judges the dead and decides whether they go to heaven or hell or are reincarnated. In the English version of Descendents of Darkness, he is equated with Hades. 


	13. Of Moonlight and Honor 13

Well, minna, this is the last you will see of _Of Moonlight & Honor_. I hope you all have enjoyed the journey. And let me say, lest you blast me, that there _is_ a sequel plot bunny around. But he won't be attended to until I finish with one or two others first. My deepest thanks to all who have reviewed; you keep me going.   
Ladymage Samiko ^_~ (9/3/03) 

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
Of Moonlight & Honor   
Part Thirteen

The funeral ceremony was small and simple, in accordance with what Sesshoumaru felt would be Tsukiyo's wishes, and her ashes buried under a granite slab engraved with the name "_Inu no Tsukiyo_." Less than a week later, the servants began to clear her rooms, separating the items that would be saved for the young mistress to inherit and those that were so personal that they would be burned. During the flurry of activity, there were a few items found that caused confusion and were brought to Sesshoumaru's attention. 

The first was Tsukiyo's naginata. That she would have had a weapon at all was a revelation to Sesshoumaru; Tsukiyo had been so quiet and gentle that the very idea would have seemed absurd had he himself not seen her wield it. As it was, his respect for her had grown and he wished he could have seen her truly fight with it. Yumemi had admitted that her mother had been training her since she was old enough to hold a practice weapon and that her mother had been awe-inspiring when she danced the katas. Sesshoumaru regarded the weapon, still stained with youkai blood, for a long, silent moment, then decreed that the staff only--not the blade--should be cleaned. It would then be hung with the family swords in the audience chamber, as a reminder that even the humans of the Inu clan were formidable warriors. 

The second of these items was a small book, found hidden underneath mounds of clothing in a lacquered chest. As the servant who found it could not read, she brought it to the Taiyoukai for his judgment. He took one glance at it and dismissed the woman back to her task. Once alone, he took it up carefully, indulging the curiousity he had felt when he saw the title scrawled on the cover: "_Tsukiyo no makura no soushi_." Tsukiyo's Pillow Book. He turned to a random page and glanced through the tiny, neat script until something caught his eye. An entry from when she was about ten years old.   


_Fifth month, day 16   
I saw him again. Sesshoumaru-sama. He is the bravest, most skilled warrior I have ever seen. And he is so very beautiful. His hair streams out behind him, like spun snow, and his eyes are fierce and golden. And he fights so effortlessly and gracefully, it is like watching the lethal dance of a god. I wonder if I can ever be that good. Ruri-san says it is disgraceful for me to have such a love of weaponry. She won't teach me anymore. I don't care. As long as otou-sama will teach me, I will learn. Maybe one day I can challenge her and beat her. Then she won't say anything anymore. Besides, I am good at the naginata. I just wish otou-sama would let me learn the sword. But I've been forbidden to touch them. I might pollute them. It is because I am a girl.   
Oh, yes, and today, I wore the rose-colored uchikake with the silver kimono with sakura embroidered on it and the blue obi. _

Fifth month, day 17   
I think I am in love with Sesshoumaru-sama. I feel odd whenever I see him. I have started sneaking out of the castle so I can watch the fighting. I am not afraid for him, because I know Sesshoumaru-sama will win. I wish I could marry him when I grow up. But I think that this will be impossible, because I know I am ugly. The other women tell me so at least once a day. But maybe I will become beautiful when I grow up. Or maybe otou-sama could offer Sesshoumaru-sama enough in dowry for him to marry me. Or perhaps I will meet with a kami who will give me beauty. But I know I will not become a nun. Ruri-san says that a convent is where I belong, so I can at least be useful praying for the family. If they force me to, I will run away. And I know that I will never pray for her soul, anyway. I hope she does burn in hell. She gave me five more bruises today. But I did not say anything. I did not even cry, because I want to be a warrior like Sesshoumaru-sama. I cannot fight Ruri-san because she is so much stronger than I am, but I bet Sesshoumaru-sama doesn't even flinch when he gets hurt. If he gets hurt.   
Today, it was the rose one again, with the green kimono and the violet obi.   


Tired of the little girl maunderings, he flipped forward.   


_Tenth month, day 2   
It was my thirteenth birthday yesterday. I hated it. If it wasn't for Ruri-san and all of her cronies, I think I would have thrown a tantrum or started crying. Also, I didn't want to embarrass my father, though I hated him, too. He allows Ruri-san to influence him in everything, especially in how he deals with me. She's convinced him that he has indulged me too much and that my care is to now be given entirely into her hands. I know that I am too ugly to attract good marriage prospects, but according to Ruri-san, I am also too fat, too muscular, and too willful. She's going to try her best to turn me into a lady, she says, though she doesn't have much hope. I don't, either. I am not a lady, nor do I want to be one. I want to be a warrior like Sesshoumaru-sama. I wonder where he is now. If only he could come and take me away from all of this.   
And if all a lady writes in her pillow book is what she wears, I won't do that anymore. _

Tenth month, day 6   
I know I have not recorded events faithfully, but I have been forced to move this book from one hiding place to another. Ruri-san has been searching my rooms to find everything that she thinks I shouldn't have. Every time she finds something--an old toy, a discarded tsuba--she hits me again. Nearly everything I own is now gone. The bitch even took my naginata away, saying I knew perfectly well what I was doing with it and practice was no longer necessary. All I have left are my clothes, really. Even the ink I am writing with now is stolen from my father's desk. I know he would allow me to have it, but if I asked, Ruri-san would find out and take it away. Then she would tear the castle apart until she found my book. As it is, I have been hiding it under the extra rooftiles upstairs. Nobody thinks it is odd that I go up to the roof for moon-viewing. It is a lady-like activity. I just have to avoid people when I do it. And I know I will have to find a better place once winter truly sets in. And I have to find out what Ruri-san did with my naginata. 

Tenth month, day 13   
I cannot write long; I feel dizzy and I ache all over. I know I said I wouldn't complain. I do want to be like Sesshoumaru-sama, but I guess I am too weak. Ruri-san keeps hitting me. Yesterday, I tried to hit her back, but after a week of only a little rice each day, I didn't have the strength to get her before she got me. So it only made her mad and then she hit me some more. She says that since everything else has failed, she needs to beat some sense into me. I wonder what 'everything else' was. I don't know anymore. All I know is that I want to curl up into a corner and make everybody go away and leave me alone.   


Two years later.   


_Seventh month, day 1   
I am going to die soon. Perhaps I should commit seppuku first, but getting a knife will be almost impossible. Ruri-san keeps me cloistered here in the women's quarters or else I am followed by one of her maids. I can barely come here to write my book, save that I sneak out at night and write by the moonlight. And I could never get past my father's guards long enough to find a weapon. But I know I am going to die. Ruri-san says that they have entered into negotiations with Kasai-sama for my marriage to him. I know that his first wife died a few years ago. She was pregnant and he beat her and she died. I don't have the strength to fight him anymore. I pray now every day for the gods to take my spirit from this hell. I know no one else will. _

Eighth Month, day 14   
The gods have not deigned to take the life I have offered them, but they have given me something else: a plan. The wedding negotiations have proceeded apace; there is no longer any doubt but that I will marry Kasai-sama. I have no hope for the future, but I have determined that I shall take all that I can before I am given up. I cannot do much, but a tiny piece of the Shikon jewel has been procured by my father. I intend to steal it and use it to find Sesshoumaru-sama. I know I have not mentioned him these many years, but I thought it best. If Ruri-san found this book, she would use every piece of knowledge against me, including that one. So though he has been absent from these pages, he has not been absent from my thoughts. I can think of three things that might occur. The first is that he will kill me outright, in which case I will die a happy woman for having him as the last thing to fill my sight and to be free from this wretched existance. The second is that he will take me, in which case I will deny Kasai of being the first to know me and bear one last happy memory to see me through however much time is left to me. The third, and least desired, is that he will ignore me altogether, in which case, I shall have nothing. But at least I shall have the knowledge that I tried. That I risked everything I am to fulfill the only dream I have left in my life.   


The Taiyoukai wondered briefly what Tsukiyo would have been like if the woman he had seen in that single instant of battle--that fierce, steadfast creature--had been allowed to nurture that strength. 

And he wished he could have been allowed to know that woman. 

"Otou-sama!" Yumemi called from beyond the door. "It is time for practice." 

"A good swordswoman has patience, Yumemi," he answered back, his voice dry. "Go to the dojo; I will be there shortly." 

"Hai, otou-sama!" As the footsteps retreated, he took one more glance at the book in his hands, closed it carefully and slipped it into one of his scroll chests. He himself would keep it, as a reminder. Of the woman who was and who she ought to have been. And of the care he must take in fulfilling his promise to her, in raising Yumemi to all that she could be. He opened the door to his chamber and began to make his own way to the dojo.   


Owari 

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Cultural Notes (skip 'em if you like)

_Inu no Tsukiyo_: lit. Tsukiyo of the Inu. Sesshoumaru is claiming her as a clan member. 

_Tsukiyo no makura no soushi_: I believe this is the correct translation, but I'm not sure. In any case, pillow books were used to record the events of the court, including what people were wearing, who was having an affair with whom, etc. 

_tsuba_: The guard on a Japanese-style sword. They can be very ornately decorated and are collected today just for themselves. 

_seppuku_: ritual suicide 


End file.
